Hopscotch B'gosh!

Greetings Fellow Playground Rats:

Are there any true Trekkies out there? You know what a Trekkie is...... That's right: a Trekkie is someone of my approximate vintage who has watched so many original and re-run episodes of Star Trek that he knows the plot synopses and memorable dialogue from every episode of the series from 1968 through 1973. A readily identifiable trait of a real Trekkie is his increasingly bizarre inability to separate fantasy from reality. He's lost forever in his own private time warp in which the Klingons or Romulans are continually lurking about hoping to blast him with a ray gun that will neutralize his brain. So Trekkies, do we all remember "The Prime Directive" the United Federation of Planets gives to all of us Starship captains? That's right! General Order #1: You shall not interfere with the social or technological development of any alien civilization you encounter.

OOPS!! (Sorry, my bad....again--but you knew it had to be coming.)

My third graders have a Learning English workbook I ordered for them and one of the study units is about playground activities. My students were especially intrigued with American playground games and had a particular fascination with the idea of hopscotch. (Koreans, apparently, knew nothing at all about hopscotch. Suffice to say, THEY DO NOW!) So, what does the well-meaning idiot boob teacher from America do? You guessed it. He finds a box of chalk, draws a hopscotch game on the sidewalk in back of the school (which happens to be visible from the teachers' workroom, so you know where this story is headed), assigns vocabulary words they have to learn to each number and proceeds to introduce Koreans to yet another new game (albeit in a slightly altered form). The kids are having a blast hopping and counting and saying their vocabulary words in an orderly manner when several teachers climb out the window (don't worry...it's first floor) and get in line with the kids to have their first go at hopscotch. (How these people ever grew up is beyond me). However, the story gets even better (if not insanely improbable).

Over the next few days, the school was completely stripped of its chalk supply and there's no doubt where it went or who is responsible. Hopscotch game boards have appeared on sidewalks, parking lots and paved surfaces in Duckdo-Ri and Yangju and may be spreading toward the border with North Korea and south toward Seoul. All of this "sidewalk art" is anathema to the Korean sense of order, dignity and harmony and the street-sweepers union is probably after the head of the instigator. What was that about The Prime Directive and not interfering with the development of alien civilizations? Will I ever learn? My days as a starship captain could be numbered. I'll probably get busted down to sergeant or worse. If I lie low, the Principal said he would cover for me. Hopscotch is still allowed at Hyochon School, but only behind the building and out of sight....and the chalk supply is now locked up in the school office and issued only by the individual stick.

Don't y'all wish you had my life?

Keep on hoppin',

Sergeant (on the way to Private),

Bill