My Friend Jack

September 30, 2009


Among the new friends I've made in Korea is my good buddy, Jack. Jack is a Down's syndrome child whose older brother ia a sixth grader at my school. His mother appeared at the school recently and begged that the boy be allowed to attend school some so he could be with other children. She said his older brother would be responsible for him or she would come sit in school to be sure he wasn't any trouble. At first, the PTB's ( powers that be) said no because our school is hardly equipped to deal with a special needs child. In fact, however, in one way or another the entire student body of my school is one big special needs group.

Long story short: I put on my idiot boob hat (again!) as I wandered upon the situation and told the PTB's the boy could hang out with my classes, maybe learn some English and enjoy being with other kids. The sixth graders have sort of adopted him as a mascot and his brother takes care of bathroom needs and feeds him lunch. I can't competently get my tongue around some Korean names, so I decided to call him Jack and he seems to like it. He's a kind boy, very friendly and is able to function at a good level. Jack represents a stigma for his family in Korean society which appears to be quick to cover up its embarrassments. I take it his family can't or won't institutionalize him (if you can even do that in Korea) and his mother (as is the case with all good mothers) is willing to stick her neck out and try to do something to help him even if society in general thinks my buddy, Jack, should be out of sight and mind.

I'll report anything noteworthy about Jack, but I already have one fun story to tell on him. The other night, I saw the movie "Top Gun" on Korean TV dubbed in Korean. (Tom Cruise could do a better job of synchronizing his lips with the Korean voiceover.) Remember the pilots saying "Rock 'n roll" when flying a mission? Well, I used the expression with Jack as in "Come on Jack...let's rock 'n roll!" and he likes it so much that he says it to everyone he sees. I think the principal is thoroughly confused, but his mentors in the sixth grade get it and humor him with it.

Please pray for Jack and throw in a request that I be allowed to help him just a little and benefit from his friendship.


Rockin' and Rollin'.

(Special Needs) Teacher Bill

The Second Coming of Noah Webster

Greetings Fellow Lexicographers:

I have to admit it--I'm a lexicographic (word) freak. While in college, I spent many late nights in the campus library thumbing randomly through the O.E.D. (Oxford English Dictionary, the official bible of our language) in a fascinating quest to learn the etymology (history, source, derivation) of the more than 60,000 English words we have available for communication. If you're typical of most Americans you are probably functional with, at most, 1200-1500 words which is kind of pathetic if you think about it. Along my scholastic journey, I invested considerable effort studying the work of British lexicographer Charles K. Ogden, the inventor/developer of Ogden's Basic English. In a nutshell, Ogden's Basic is a set of 850 words that can be used along with articles, prepositions and pronouns and the verbs "to have" and "to be" to communicate about 90% of everything you need to say in English. Recalling this trip I made into the dark recesses of academia's closet resulted in a...

B R A I N S T O R M!!! Is that a light bulb flashing over my head???

and I said to myself: "Self, why not create a Korean-English and reverse dictionary of Ogden's 850 and use it to speed up the process of learning English for your students?"

So......with the translational help of my teacher friend Min-hi, I'm playing at being the Noah Webster of Korea and we will publish a rough first version of the first edition of Teacher Bill's "Words for the Wise" ( a little play on words--get it?) Dictionary hopefully next month. I have some other content ideas, but the basic dictionary comes first. I'm playing with the idea of a global enterprise built around trashing the way English is taught as a foreign language and introducing something simple, but revolutionary and easy to use and targeted to younger learners. I have to sign off now and finish up the copyright application I'm preparing. I also need to finish this week's lesson outlines and read up on how to use the light pen that came with my new electrified English classroom.

So much to do and so little time!

Never at a loss for words,
Bill

Hopscotch B'gosh!

Greetings Fellow Playground Rats:

Are there any true Trekkies out there? You know what a Trekkie is...... That's right: a Trekkie is someone of my approximate vintage who has watched so many original and re-run episodes of Star Trek that he knows the plot synopses and memorable dialogue from every episode of the series from 1968 through 1973. A readily identifiable trait of a real Trekkie is his increasingly bizarre inability to separate fantasy from reality. He's lost forever in his own private time warp in which the Klingons or Romulans are continually lurking about hoping to blast him with a ray gun that will neutralize his brain. So Trekkies, do we all remember "The Prime Directive" the United Federation of Planets gives to all of us Starship captains? That's right! General Order #1: You shall not interfere with the social or technological development of any alien civilization you encounter.

OOPS!! (Sorry, my bad....again--but you knew it had to be coming.)

My third graders have a Learning English workbook I ordered for them and one of the study units is about playground activities. My students were especially intrigued with American playground games and had a particular fascination with the idea of hopscotch. (Koreans, apparently, knew nothing at all about hopscotch. Suffice to say, THEY DO NOW!) So, what does the well-meaning idiot boob teacher from America do? You guessed it. He finds a box of chalk, draws a hopscotch game on the sidewalk in back of the school (which happens to be visible from the teachers' workroom, so you know where this story is headed), assigns vocabulary words they have to learn to each number and proceeds to introduce Koreans to yet another new game (albeit in a slightly altered form). The kids are having a blast hopping and counting and saying their vocabulary words in an orderly manner when several teachers climb out the window (don't worry...it's first floor) and get in line with the kids to have their first go at hopscotch. (How these people ever grew up is beyond me). However, the story gets even better (if not insanely improbable).

Over the next few days, the school was completely stripped of its chalk supply and there's no doubt where it went or who is responsible. Hopscotch game boards have appeared on sidewalks, parking lots and paved surfaces in Duckdo-Ri and Yangju and may be spreading toward the border with North Korea and south toward Seoul. All of this "sidewalk art" is anathema to the Korean sense of order, dignity and harmony and the street-sweepers union is probably after the head of the instigator. What was that about The Prime Directive and not interfering with the development of alien civilizations? Will I ever learn? My days as a starship captain could be numbered. I'll probably get busted down to sergeant or worse. If I lie low, the Principal said he would cover for me. Hopscotch is still allowed at Hyochon School, but only behind the building and out of sight....and the chalk supply is now locked up in the school office and issued only by the individual stick.

Don't y'all wish you had my life?

Keep on hoppin',

Sergeant (on the way to Private),

Bill

This just in....

Greetings Nature Lovers:

A short post to acknowledge that the Koreans may be more right about kudzu than we know. I read an internet report today about studies going on at a couple of universities in which researchers are testing an extract of kudzu root as a treatment for high blood pressure. Apparently, following a recent extended test, lab rats were shown to have significantly lower blood pressures after treatment with a drug made from kudzu root. Don't start grazing on the kudzu growing up the side of your house just yet, but it does look promising.

Have a relaxing, non-pressured day.

Kudzu Bill
Blog Science Editor

A Room That's New...... and Karaoke 2

Hello Culture Lovers:

My school building in Duckdo-Ri is a rather modest affair the oldest part of which, I would judge, was built sometime during the years immediately following The Korean War. I would date it late 1950's. It serves the children of what has been a relatively transient population of agrarian working class people who are migrating toward the bright lights and better opportunities they hope to find in Yangju, Uijongbu and Seoul. Their expectations aren't great and their primary motivation lies in getting their children anywhere other than where they've been. Duckdo-Ri isn't exactly a Peace Corps kind of situation, but neither will anyone ever mistake it for Times Square. The school has languished somewhat by my estimation largely due to the de facto Korean caste system which doesn't seem to assign these people much value beyond manual labor. (For example, I've learned that if your family name isn't included among the eight historically upper class ruling clans of Korea you pretty much don't matter.) Fortunately, the last several principals of the school have been successful in snagging some government resources to make improvements. Having set the scene for you, we direct your attention to stage left where the boob/daredevil teacher from America has entered and, in his usual fashion, immediately upsets the socio-cultural apple cart. (I can hear the groans of "Oh no, not again!)

When I first arrived here back in February, I was told they were "ashamed" (their word via translation, not mine) that the school didn't have a dedicated classroom for English instruction as
many schools in Korea do these days. They did have me set up shop in the school library which had a cabinet in which they stored English language teaching materials. (Side note: Most of what they gave me as teaching materials were obviously created by professionals who know a lot about methods and theory and very little about applied linguistics and, more importantly, how to out-con an elementary age con artist into learning a language.) Long story short, I trashed most of their material (actually, stuffed it back in the cabinet) and went to work creating something useful. If I had several years here I'm willing to bet I could revolutionize their entire language curriculum. Lest my observation be considered an idle boast, I say in the words of baseball great Dizzy Dean: "It ain't braggin' if ya kin DO IT!" Where was I? Oh yeah.....

By a few of what could only be divinely directed circumstances (have you noticed that, sometimes, God just takes over and mostly when you don't expect it?) I got my (now buddy) the mayor of Yangju involved and as of today, August 28th, I am holding court for my youthful charges in a newly constructed addition to the school building that contains everything for which I asked and then some. Among other goodies, we have (courtesy of Samsung, bless 'em) an interactive video system with a 70 inch "touch" screen plus some really cool software, four "Language Tutor" brand individual language practice study stations, an elctronic map of the world in Korean and English, a custom-made "role playing" area that can be converted into everything from a store counter to an airplane passenger cabin and a lot of other cool stuff that was recommended or developed by an educational consulting firm from Seoul. My students may be bumpkins, but by the grace of the Almighty, they're going to be state-of-the-art bumpkins! I'll conclude by noting in the words of a praise song we sing at church--"I called....you answered..."

Karaoke 2: I continued my 1960's theme by stumbling through a haunting rendition of the Petula Clark hit, "Downtown". (How I love that synthesizer microphone). Carnaby Street in London never heard it done any better. Despite pleas for an encore or a duet, I decided to quit while my chi (remember that?) was still working for me. As they say, a good time was had by all.

Wishing you good times,

Electric Bill

Of Abalone and Artillery

Greetings Fellow Daredevils:

I've been known to put some strange things in my stomach. I'm probably even better known as a controlled risk taker who will push the edge occasionally with what I say and do in my personal selective pursuit of experience. Since I'm supposed to be dead anyway (stroke, 1989; car wreck, 2006) and continue to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide only by the grace of divine intervention, it seems to me that taking a risk or two (or three or...) might not be such a bad use of all this borrowed time I have. In retrospect, I've probably already borrowed quite bit considering that, during a visit to Jerusalem during one of my archaeological expeditions in Israel, I eagerly accepted a proposal from the manager of the Palestinian-owned hotel at which I was staying to have his family take me for an up close and personal tour of Arab East Jerusalem with a fly-by of Yasser Arafat's headquarters at Abu Dis. Only whilst I was meeting and greeting with Palestinians in the streets of East Jerusalem did it occur to me that I hadn't told any sane member of my expedition team (there actually were one or two rational souls out of thirty which is about the right percentage for a gathering of archaeologists) where I was going and with whom. Everything worked out OK and probably was no riskier than eating the lunch I had purchased that day from a street vendor who was cooking on the sidewalk. (Hey, I had had my vaccination for Hepatitis A.) To quote from Ferris Bueller: "You have to stop and look around once in a while. If you don't, you might miss something."

(I've been resting my typing hand. Now, back to our story.)

Referencing my last post, before leaving Kyung-jong, Min-hi and her mother fixed a traditional Korean breakfast of soup, rice, vegetables and, as a special treat, abalone. Abalone is the meat of the giant Pacific clam (you've seen pictures--they're about two to three feet wide and weigh about fifty pounds). Like caviar, there's only so much of it and it's priced accordingly. Five of us shared about two pounds of abalone which I have since learned runs about 100,000 won ($80) per pound. As a special added treat, we had some really tasty goodies of odd shapes and consistency for which I was told the tongue-twisting Korean name. Min-hi looked it up on her electronic Korean-English dictionary and the translation came back "innards." GUTS??? Big clams have guts? Min-hi's father told me that eating them is good for"what makes you a man." The women ate them, too, but I didn't pursue that line of discussion further. Breakfast concluded with mint and jasmine tea of which I partook liberal quantities. Sufficiently fortified, I set out for my confrontation with the North Koreans.

Partying Down (NOT!) at Panmunjom

The best that can be said about the scene around the Demilitarized Zone at the 38th parallel is that the terrain and the troops on either side of the line look equally bleak. The entire place is an armed camp for as far as can be seen with big lines of artillery set on the ridges pointed in either direction across the border. I doubt those Howitzers and Russian made guns could hit much of value from where they are, but the effect of their presence sends a message. The North supposedly has even bigger artillery (mounted on rail cars they move continually along the border) capable of hitting Seoul. The army stops the limited amount of permit traffic (we had one) well south of the DMZ where you can look at the border and peace talks building through those big binocular-like telescopes that are popular at scenic vistas in the U.S. No picture taking is allowed which is OK because there really isn't much to see. Not many people come to Panmunjom because access is controlled (Min-hi's father knows people in the South Korean Press Corps which was the source of our permit) and the place hardly qualifies as a tourist attraction. Even from a distance the scene is somewhat surreal and I kept looking around for M*A*S*H 4077th. It's a sobering place and safe although I have to admit that I felt better about hanging out with the Arabs in the shadow of PLO Headquarters than I did staring across (OK, at a distance and through a telescope) the border at what is (with the possible exception of Jerusalem) the most bitterly contested desert rockpile on earth.

The 38th parallel divides families as much as it divides territory. They say there isn't a family in South Korea that doesn't have relative bottled up in the North and Min-hi's family is no exception. They are hopeful that the decline in tensions between North and South over the past few weeks may finally lead to some cross-border family visits. However, they have had false dawns before and one can only hope.

Summer break is about over and the second half of the school year starts next week. The special English classroom that has been under construction as an addition to the second floor of the school building is almost finished and I have promised to help get it equipped and operational before I leave. Lots to do and not enough time to do it. And (Did you get the news?) a grandson on the way. Me? A grandfather? Talk about surreal!

Luv 2 all.

A well-fed and very sober,

Teacher Bill

I'm A Travelin' Man....(with apologies to Ricky Nelson)

Hello, Fellow Travelers on the Road of Life:

Well, I covered a lot of ground this past week. My wonderful teacher friend, Song Min-Hi, and her family invited me to see some parts of Korea that few tourists are ever able to penetrate by virtue of being off the beaten path and somewhat difficult to access. Min-hi is the first grade teacher at my school and has been a lifesaver for me because she is the only one around the place who speaks fairly fluent English. She is about Diana's age. She and her boyfriend have to be in the running for "Cutest Couple in Korea" and I take a certain pride in the fact that she says her boyfriend is more afraid of me than he is of her father. After all, I am a lot bigger than most Korean men and my Bhuddah-like dome probably inspires a certain other-worldly kind of awe. But I digress...back to our story.

My first venture this week was to the ancient city of Kyung-jong (about a four hour train ride southeast of Uijongbu) which has been preserved and set aside as a kind of Bhuddist version of Williamsburg. The architecture is very distinctive and the seven-towered temple complex is impressive. I was able to visit a Bhuddist "prayer meetin'" in a large hall complete with tinkling cymbals, booming drums and an ominous sounding gong. I declined the opportunity to buy a fruit or grain offering to leave at the statue of Bhudda ("Thou shalt not make unto thyself any graven image"), but I did make a donation to the temple "poor box." My impression is that these people are serious, peaceful and not hurting anybody. However, it's a long way from Christianity and is, ultimately, a religion of salvation by works rather than by faith and fails the test of the Christian ethos. I wasn't called to be an evangelist and upset anyone's cultural apple cart (I do enough of that in secular circumstances). To each his own, I suppose. We then drove up a nearby mountain to Seong-ju to see Korea's oldest and largest stone Bhuddah. Again, more opportunities for fruit and grain, another poor box, etc. The place is a UNESCO World Heritage site (with the obligatory donation to support on-going preservation work) and worth the half-hour climb up a rocky path. It reminded me somewhat of the massive "Christ the Redeemer" statue on the mountain overlooking Rio de Janeiro. After a museum visit and a trip to see an ancient Confucian astronomical observatory we drove east to Pohang-si, a seaside town overlooking the Sea of Japan. I'm a big fan of sashimi (raw fish) and got to pick my own fish from a big tank and have it skinned and fileted table-side. I think part of it was still moving, but it tasted so good I try not to think about it lest the wrath of PETA descend on me.

Back to K yung-jong where we spent the night at a mountain guest house where Min-hi's family had made reservations. I'll tell you later about my oddball breakfast experience and visit to the border with North Korea and the U.N. peace talks site at Panmunjom but, for now, my typing hand is worn out.

Your "Smiling Bhudda" Buddy,

Bill

Kudzu.....and a Lesson

Howdy Kampers:

Well, I have to confess that every time I think I've seen it all, Korea surprises me with something different. In this episode, we observe the validity of the the English truisms that one man's meat is another man's poison and that one man's treasure is another man's trash. Lest I lose the ability to distinguish treasure from trash, I try to remind myself that I am on the opposite side of the world and that each side appears to mirror the other in reverse. While in college, I studied this philosophical culmination of opposites (Thank you Dr. Christiansen and Dr. Hogan) and, after forty or so years I'm living it out in real time and living color. So....what does the foregoing drivel actually mean? In a word--KUDZU!

I won't recount the already well-known nature of kudzu except to note that, if the story of kudzu is ever made into a horror film it could be appropriately titled, "The Curse That Would Not Die". The Korean version of the same film would probably be, "Kudzu--Gift of the Gods". The stuff grows both in the wild and in CULTIVATED FIELDS. Believe it or not Ripley, Koreans actually PLANT kudzu seeds and harvest the stuff as animal fodder. They say that pigs and goats especially thrive on it and cattle will eat it if grain or forage is in short supply. Koreans even have a special harvesting machine that gathers the leaves and prunes the vines so they'll grow better. (If they tell me they're cross-breeding to produce improved varieties of kudzu I'll be on the next plane out of here!) I've seen the tank-tracked harvesters they use in the rice paddies around my school so I'm trying to imagine the piece of ingenuity Koreans have developed for dealing with kudzu.

So, the bane of Georgia (and The American Southland) that we spray with weed control and treat as trash is actually a renewable treasure trove of food in Korea and only 11,000 miles and a world of attitudinal differences separates our perceptions. I'll leave you to ponder that while I go down the street for a hamburger dressed with kudzu (oops, I mean lettuce) and tomato (extra mustard, please and hold the kimchee).

Til later,

Bill
The Kudzu Kaper Kid

Misery, Thy Name is Monsoon

Hi Fellow Kampers in Spirit:

I hate to be a grouch, but Korea is experiencing "vacuum cleaner" weather right now. (That's right...it sucks!). The predicted annual monsoon season has descended upon this part of creation and it is everything my seventh grade geography book advertised. I'm having mental flashbacks to 1966 when, as a sixteen year-old day camp counselor with the YMCA, I slogged through a few days of heavy rain with a dozen elementary age boys in my charge. The circumstances created a vacuum then (see above) and still do today--only now I'm pushing sixty and sixteen is a long way in the rear view mirror. As I survey this particular consequence of my freely chosen circumstances, I philosophically note that I am, once again, sitting beneath a leaky-roofed pavillion trying to keep order among (and teach English to) elementary age kids. Sadly, that's not much career progress for forty-three years. On the other hand, I think I'm in the right place at the right time and living out my destiny in accordance with the Grand Unified Theory as postulated by Einstein. (Oh Lord, I'm turning into a Jewish Asian mystic.....HELP!!!!).

Maybe I'll organize my Korean students into a chorus to sing a few verses of "Tomorrow" from the musical, ANNIE. (You know..."The sun will come out tomorrow. Bet you bottom dollar that, tomorrow, there'll be sun" etc.). With that, I leave you with best wishes and a quote from "Pygmalion" ("My Fair Lady") that Eliza Doolittle made to Henry Higgins during a torrential London thunderstorm:

"If it's gettin' worse, tis a sign it's nearly over.
So cheer up, Captain, and buy a flower off a poor gurl."

You'll have to supply your own Cockney accent.

Til later,
(A very philosophical) Kamper Bill

Let the Games Begin!

Hi all:
Well, I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!! Did you miss me? Our Hawaiian cruise adventure was really great and ended much too quickly. As previously advertised, I wore out a deck chair, destroyed multiple buffets and had a great time with the family. Although I've now been to Hawaii seven times, I did discover something new, different and definitely spectacular. We had been to the Kiluea volcano (world's most active) on the big island years ago with the girls, but, this time, we got a different view of it-- at night and from offshore. Kiluea is on the southwest coast of the big island. We cruised past it in the dark and the crater was lit up with bright yellow-orange lava flowing down the slopes and into the ocean where it sizzles and steams. It has to be one of the world's greatest sights. On Maui, while Ann and I wore out deck chairs, Kimberly and Diana took an excursion 10,00 feet up Mt Haleakaela (a dormant volcano) to see the sights and view a Pacific sunset from above the clouds. Ann and I had made this same trek on our first trip to Hawaii more than thirty years ago and we took the opportunity to let the girls have fun by themselves while we wore out some deck chairs we found in close proximity to a buffet. (Do you see a pattern emerging here?). All in all, it was a great time and we enjoyed being together.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch in Korea, the summer day camp program is now in full swing. The games I ordered (Candy Land and Chutes & Ladders) had arrived and I put the younger children to work on them as a vehicle for teaching them English color, number and directional words. Pretty clever of me, right? I thought so, too, right up to the point at which the Korean teachers became intrigued with these "wonderful" games they'd never seen and muscled the kids out of the way so they could play! Everything worked out fine, additional game sets have been ordered and everyone thanked me for bringing them these wonderful "new" games. The fifth and sixth graders continue to work diligently with their SCRABBLE games and are visibly unhappy, but respectfully silent when intrigued teachers try to muscle in on their games. The best part is that I only had to break up arguments and mediate disputes over SCRABBLE words twice although, sadly, one of the disputes was between two teachers. (Idle question: What did these people do for entertainment before I arrived?) For tomorrow, I've set up a scavenger hunt for English-named objects (manmade and natural) found around the camp area. Let's see the teachers horn in on that one!

Gotta go...my typing hand is giving out. Love to all. Y'all keep on playing and remember (as I'm trying to teach my very intense students)...IT'S ONLY A GAME!!

See ya,
Kamper Bill

It's Halftime!

Hi all!

The past two weeks have been very busy as school has been lurching toward summer vacation. Korean schools have a six week summer break and a six week winter break which is a bit different from the U.S. I'm off to Hawaii to meet up with the family and cruise the islands. There's a deck chair with my name on it and multiple buffets to be met and conquered. During the cruise, Ann and I will celebrate our 35th anniversary on August 3rd and it will be nice to have Kimberly and Diana with us.

When I return to Korea next month, I'll spend the remainder of summer break teaching at English Language Day Camp in Uijombu ("wee-jom-bu") just a short drive from where I'm living in Yangju. I'll catch up on some of my recent crazy adventures when I return. Right now, I'm off to Inchon Airport and a nine hour flight to Honolulu.

Keep having a great summer!

Bill

A Scrap Over Scrabble

July 7, 2009


After an extended absence due to some internet-related ptoblems, I am back. Too much to relate in one sitting, so I'll tell my most recent bit of funny business with the students. The kids really love any kind of board or card game and I decided to introduce them to SCRABBLE as a vocabulary building tool. I ordered one game set as an experiment and it was so popular that I've since ordered six more. My biggest problem is kids arguing over who gets to play and who is the best player. With this much as background, here is my story:

I had sixteen fifth and sixth graders playing on four boards last Friday--two, two-man teams playing four on a board. I had them play as pairs so they could help each other. A SCRABBLE set has a total of 100 letter and blank wild card tiles including one Q and one Z. I am the final arbiter of word acceptability and scoring. An easy job, you say, for a former English major? Not with this bunch of young pirates and con artists! I was called to a table to adjudicate a word and noticed the board also had two words spelled with "Z" (Zoo and Zero) which would be fine if the words had been formed sharing the same "Z". They were, however, placed on different areas of the board using TWO "Z" tiles. (For those who remember a strange character from the TV show "Mork and Mindy", I say to you in the words of Exidor himself, " Blasphemey!") I stopped play and found a table missing its "Z". (Remember, "Z" is a ten point letter--not a lousy one-point "S". ) I won't go into the object lesson we had about cheating and my Korean co-teacher gave the entire room a tongue-lashing about disgrace and dishonor. A little heavy-handed I thought, but this is Asia and when one member of your group screws up, EVERYONE suffers. It's also Asia, because the theme of the lecture was (I sensed) LESS ABOUT THE SHAME OF CHEATING AND MORE ABOUT THE STUPIDITY OF GETTING CAUGHT!

Gotta love 'em! Everything worked out fine (I think). More another time.

Bill
(Your Asian morals enforcer)

The Karaoke Kaper

Another notable difference between Korean and American schools is the level of group socializing that goes on with the teachers. Everything in Korea revolves around the concept of family and the faculty of a school is one of the many "families" of which you can be a member in Korean society. This is true throughout the workplace--not just schools. Kia or Hyundai employees think of their immediate and extended work groups as a kind of family. Life events (births, marriages, deaths, etc.) are celebrated or mourned together as a group. Only in this way can the chi (prounounced like "key") or life force/essence of the indvidual or group be maintained in proper harmony and balance. This is background for my explanation as to how I got invited (railroaded would be a better description) to do my first ever gig as a karaoke singer. (I'll pause and wait for the laughter to subside)

Following a semi-monthly teachers' group dinner out, I was told we were going to a karaoke parlor at which a group can rent a room with a karaoke machine and a private cash bar. I had read about this beloved Asian pastime in a guide book and knew two things: first, everybody goes (very bad manners to refuse to support the group will); second, everybody sings at least one solo. The machine can be set to do any song in a number of different languages. (Sadly, English is on the list). I was offered a book with the playlist and asked to pick my song. They even said someone would do a duet with me if I wanted help. I decided to "save face" (Asians are big on that) and go solo so as to receive maximum respect no matter how badly my chi was about to suffer. Long story short, I butchered my way through "I'm a Believer" by The Monkees and with that synthesizer microphone even if you stink you sound semi-respectable. At the end, they have an applause meter and the crowd claps for you to get a rating. I got what I thought was a respectable 84, but the principal of the school wasn't satisfied and he led a second round of applause and cheering that raised my score to a 96. So, I went to bed that night with my personal dignity in shreds by my chi intact and my life force overflowing.

Please pray for me because I'll probably have to do this again. What have you been doing for fun lately? Until later.......

Bill
(The Karaoke Kid)

Ooops!! Sorry...my bad

Well, I really messed up with my first graders today. Call it a cross-cultural misunderstanding. Korean society from top to bottom is fiercely competitive especially within peer group. By the time they're first graders, Koreans have learned the drill pretty well. Koreans are very kind to the very young, the elderly and the sick. However, they have very little liking or tolerance for those who are a little slower or need extra help largely because they pull down the entire group (be it team, society or whatever) and that is unacceptable. Even in the first grade there is an undeniable pecking order in which everyone recognizes the elite students and each kid understands his relative position in the hierarchy. The teachers recognize this system because they grew up with it and, for them, it's the natural order working itself out. Slower kids do get extra help, but "no child left behind" and the concept of upward mobility simply don't register in this culture. In the first place, no child will be left behind because each will be evaluated, slotted and placed at his proper level. They will perform at that level and be directed from there to appropriate skill training and teaching so they fit well into the "natural" scheme of society. Adults do their best to achieve within the "zone" to which they have been assigned for life and are not encouraged to think in upwardly mobile terms because the "national will" requires that each person act the role for which fate intended him.

Into the middle of this mystic contradiction steps the boob teacher from America. Honest--all I was trying to do was help a kid who was struggling a bit. How did I manage to lose some credibility with a roomful of six and seven year old moppets? If only in a small way, I violated part of the national social contract by moving one of the pieces on the great Korean chessboard of life to a wrong position. I thought the boy (who was struggling with English) would benefit from standing next to me so I could coach him a bit while having the class listen and repeat with me.
Being asked to stand at the front of the class is a position of honor reserved for the elite students and only on infrequent occasions lest they become too cocky (as was patiently explained to me later). The entire roomful of first graders immediately shut down on me because I had elevated a peer who was obviously NOT an elite student (and, ipso facto, probably never would be) to an honored position above the obviously better students. AND THIS IS THE FREAKIN' FIRST GRADE!! Everything ultimately worked out OK and the regular classroom teacher was kind in helping me understand that, like Dorothy and Toto, I wasn't in Kansas any more. It makes me wonder how a Korean teacher would do in the U.S. where every child must be a "winner", there are no allowed losers, everybody feels good (whatever that means) and delicate little psyches are constantly massaged into mass mediocrity. (End of didactic pontification).

How's your psyche doing today? A good day to all from The Land of the Morning Mist.

Til later, The Kaper KId

It's a Gas!

June 1, 2007

So...you think U.S. gasoline prices are bad? Koreans would change places with you in a second. Riding with another teacher today, we stopped to gas up his Kia. Gas has gotten more expensive here over the past month. I did the liter/gallon and won/dollar conversion while while the attendant was filling the tank. (Yes, they still have pump attendants who gas up, clean windshields, check tires, etc. --after all, that's someone's JOB your talking about). I redid my calculations several times to be sure I was right and it always came up $ 5.30 per equivalent gallon for regular. Koreans don't complain much and my friend's stoic upbringing with a true Confucian attitude led him to simply observe "It is what it is." In the U.S. you're probably looking at a tea party kind of revolt at such prices. In Korea, the government gets its pound of flesh tax-wise, too. However, people generally suck it up and consider they're contributing to the good of all. Obama and his minions would love these people.

They have another "for the good of all" tax here on garbage. That's right...garbage. Korea is a small country with no place to put a lot of waste. They have mandatory recycling and people work as hard to recycle as they do at regular jobs. It's a collective "national will" kind of thing. The garbage tax is collected on the only officially sanctioned government approved 100 % biodegradeable trash bags everyone is required to use. They are only available at licensed retailers and there's a heavy fine and possible jail time for scofflaws (that includes you Mr. Honorable Foreign teacher!). How much is the price of compliance, you ask? That box of 30 Hefty bags for which you'll pay about $2.99 at Kroger would run about twelve bucks in Korea. Fortunately, the school is exempt from the tax and since they're responsible for most of my living expenses (sure glad I'm not paying the rent on a 3/2 apartment in an Asian city!) they give me bags from the school's supply.

So, once again, I've found a reason to sing "God Bless America!", although if Obama learns about this garbage scam we'll all be in for it! I'll close with best wishes for all and a reminder to show some respect for that bag when you take out your garbage tonight. Luv 2 all.

Bill

It's a Gas!

The Zoo Story (Korean style)

May 28, 2009

Playwright Edward Albee (best known for Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?) wrote a one-act tragedy titled The Zoo Story back in the 1950's. We recently took all the students on a field trip to the National Zoo in Seoul where I lived my own serio-comic version of a zoo story. To set the scene properly, you have to realize that my school is in an outlying rural area just outsde an outlying small city (Yangju) which is an hour drive north of Seoul. Some of the students are recent transplants from the absolute boondoocks/jumping-off point in the middle of nowhere Korea whose parents have moved the family in search of better jobs for parents and the hope of a better future for children. It would be generous to describe them as unsophisticated. Some of the kids are behind grade level for their ages, but are catching up. Schooling out in the boonies is less a priority than just trying to survive. Anyway, we had a great day at the zoo, I taught English names for all the animals they didn't know and we had a picnic provided by the school's version of the PTA. One third grade boy I knew to be a relatively recent arrival from the hinterlands was evidently very impressed by the spectacle of elelphants, lions and a hippo or two but was, for the most part, silent. Through my teacher/interpreter friend I asked him how he liked the zoo. He said he really liked it, but asked "Who made all these animals?" It seems that his ten years of very sheltered, unspoiled living in a very closed off reality had led him to the de facto conclusion that the only creatures in the world were the ones he could see and that was limited to dogs, cats, birds, cows, pigs, chickens and a few fish. Thus, the dolphin show at the zoo aquarium was a real eye-opener for him. We tried to explain to him that most of the animals came from far away places such as Africa, but it was all a bit overwhelming for him. He'd seen lions in a picture book, but didn't make the connection to the fact that they were real animals. He thought they were something made up for the purpose of telling a story. So, his question as to who made these things was understandable. His reality now includes lions and tigers and bears (oh my!) and he is really appreciative that somebody made these animals just so we could go see them. In college, I was a very astute student of philosophy and the study of the problem of knowledge and reality. However, seeing something basic through the first time eyes of a child is worth at least three semester hours credit. Maybe the experience will make me a better grandfather. I'd better get my grandfather act together because that reality is less than seven months away.

A good day to all. I'm going right now to dig up (no, not literally) some kimchee and a two liter bottle of Pepto to drink with it. Until later...................bd

A Big Onion to You All!

Actually, I mean to say hello. The Korean word for hello sounds exactly like "onion". The good news is that yesterday was payday in Korea for all government employees. The bad news is that the Korean won has tanked against most other currencies and now stands at 1257 to the dollar. Not as bad as its low point of 1550 last month, but a far cry still from the 1040 level it held on my arrival in February. (Memo to self: Next time insist upon payment in dollars.) The U.S. greenback may have more value as toilet paper or as a trash can liner, but at least it's stable (sort of) and Canada and Mexico aren't playing with fireworks within 50 miles of Washington. Rest easy folks--the North Koreans are truly nutballs, but locals think it's all about getting attention from the West in the form of food and development aid. People in North Korea are starving and the only way to get a guaranteed meal is to join the army because they're fed first. People in the South do their best to try and get provisions to family in the North, but the success rate is presumed to be low and almost impossible without building a distribution network that operates on bribery. I work with teachers at the school who have multiple generations of relatives in the North whom they've never met (much like East and West Germany before 1991) and probably never will. For a society in which the concept of family is the cornerstone of everything (and I do mean everything) it's especially saddening.

There is good news on the education front. All of my third graders passed their English tests this week although a few had to be coached through it. My first graders have progressed all the way to letter "F" in their workbooks and have functional vocabulary skills with about a hundred words. All students are becoming operational with "Damon's Basic 40" expressions that allow them to ask and answer basic information gathering questions, talk about the weather and have a rudimentary conversation. The smartest and most focussed among them are really flying with English and the rest are in various stages of trying to escape "no child left behind" status. All in all, a pretty typical bunch of kids.

The rice paddies around the school were planted and flooded about a month ago and rice stalks have already grown up about a foot above the surface. I've been told that in the upper part of South Korea they can havest two rice crops per year and in the warmer southern part of the peninsula where the growing season is longer and warmer they can get three crops in a season. The school has a big garden tended by the students and evry school's food budget is predicated, in part, on each school raising a certain amount of its own food for noon meals. Imagine trying to get U.S. students to do that. Students are also responsible for cleaning their school. Best of all, no one complains. The educational model has more similarities than differences with the U.S. However, where contrasts exist, they are very notable.

I'll wind this edition down for now and be back again later. Love 2 All---Bill

The Kaper Begins!

May 20, 2009

Greetings to all from the "Land of the Morning Mist"

(As Koreans fondly style their country)

The kaper actually began February 1 when I departed Atlanta for my 11,000+ mile flight to almost the end of nowhere Korea. I'm a few hundred miles from being exactly on the opposite side of the planet from all of you. I've wandered far and wide in this life to some pretty strange and wonderful (and not so wonderful--I'll detail my Saudi Arabia experiences another time) places, but this is about as far from home as I've ever been. Seriously, there isn't a barbrque joint within 8,000 miles of this place and if you don't like rice, bean sprouts, octopus, seaweed and the ubiquitous native dish, kimchee (see below) , you'll be hard pressed to find a meal here. I'll say more about food another time, but fear not for me. There is a grocery store across the street from my apartment building that stocks a reasonable variety of Western style products so I will survive. Since I don't know where to begin, here are a few strictly stream-of-consciusness thoughts.....

What is kimchee, you ask? First, it's the Korean national dish and baseball and eating kimchee are Korea's national pastimes and not necessarily in that order. It's made (usually) from pickled cabbage that has been wrapped in seaweed, buried in the ground and allowed to ferment for about a month. The cabbage and usually the greenery, too, is chopped up and mixed with a five-alarm concoction of hot red pepper, garlic and God only knows what else to make a vegetable salad mixture eaten by Koreans at every meal including breakfast. Let that be your introduction to kimchee. I'll say more about it another time.

Where do I reside? Housing in all of Asia is in very tight supply and people are literally stacked on top pf one another. So...why do I enjoy a fairly spacious three bedroom, two bath apartment on the top floor of the nicest high-rise in Yangju City? An extended family of nine people was honored to vacate their apartment to make it available to "our distinguished foreign teacher." Talk about feeling rotten when I found out about that! But to back up for a moment...

I'm living in Yangju City, Republic of Korea about thirty miles north of Seoul and twenty-five miles south of Panmujom, the DMZ and the border with North Korea. Since we all know me to be a tolerant, unopinioated sweetheart of a guy, I've thought about hopping a bus to Panmunjom (where recinciliation talks have been in progress since 1953), joining the peace talks and politely suggesting they get their act together and settle things because the world is finding their continuing animosities just a teensy bit tiring.

I'm teaching English in Duckdo-ri (a farming village just outside of Yangju) at Hyochon School. I'll have more to say about the school and students another time, but for now, I'll say I have been well-received and appreciated (if not venerated--at times it's almost embarrassing) by some truly nice people. Knowledge of English is a potential difference-maker for the kids in this village because English ability has much to do with how far you can go with your education and what kind of job you can get. My contract is with the education department of Gyeonggi-do Province and calls for me to teach conversational English and develop curriculum materials for both young and adult learners. As an undergraduate, I was an English major with a focus on linguistics (and Shakespeare and Medieval Literature, but that's another story....) so after 37 years, I'm finally using my education.

That's about all for the first installment. My arm is doing OK and I've mastered one-handed typing with my right hand although I tire easily and the length of this blog is about the most I can do at one sitting. I'll publish updates whenever possible because I have numerous stories both sad and funny to relate. Korea is a different kind of place. I'll end with that stunning revelation for now. Please let me hear from you either here or my e-mail, bdamon@bellsouth.net. Love to all.

Bill