Howdy Kampers:
Well, I have to confess that every time I think I've seen it all, Korea surprises me with something different. In this episode, we observe the validity of the the English truisms that one man's meat is another man's poison and that one man's treasure is another man's trash. Lest I lose the ability to distinguish treasure from trash, I try to remind myself that I am on the opposite side of the world and that each side appears to mirror the other in reverse. While in college, I studied this philosophical culmination of opposites (Thank you Dr. Christiansen and Dr. Hogan) and, after forty or so years I'm living it out in real time and living color. So....what does the foregoing drivel actually mean? In a word--KUDZU!
I won't recount the already well-known nature of kudzu except to note that, if the story of kudzu is ever made into a horror film it could be appropriately titled, "The Curse That Would Not Die". The Korean version of the same film would probably be, "Kudzu--Gift of the Gods". The stuff grows both in the wild and in CULTIVATED FIELDS. Believe it or not Ripley, Koreans actually PLANT kudzu seeds and harvest the stuff as animal fodder. They say that pigs and goats especially thrive on it and cattle will eat it if grain or forage is in short supply. Koreans even have a special harvesting machine that gathers the leaves and prunes the vines so they'll grow better. (If they tell me they're cross-breeding to produce improved varieties of kudzu I'll be on the next plane out of here!) I've seen the tank-tracked harvesters they use in the rice paddies around my school so I'm trying to imagine the piece of ingenuity Koreans have developed for dealing with kudzu.
So, the bane of Georgia (and The American Southland) that we spray with weed control and treat as trash is actually a renewable treasure trove of food in Korea and only 11,000 miles and a world of attitudinal differences separates our perceptions. I'll leave you to ponder that while I go down the street for a hamburger dressed with kudzu (oops, I mean lettuce) and tomato (extra mustard, please and hold the kimchee).
Til later,
Bill
The Kudzu Kaper Kid
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Misery, Thy Name is Monsoon
Hi Fellow Kampers in Spirit:
I hate to be a grouch, but Korea is experiencing "vacuum cleaner" weather right now. (That's right...it sucks!). The predicted annual monsoon season has descended upon this part of creation and it is everything my seventh grade geography book advertised. I'm having mental flashbacks to 1966 when, as a sixteen year-old day camp counselor with the YMCA, I slogged through a few days of heavy rain with a dozen elementary age boys in my charge. The circumstances created a vacuum then (see above) and still do today--only now I'm pushing sixty and sixteen is a long way in the rear view mirror. As I survey this particular consequence of my freely chosen circumstances, I philosophically note that I am, once again, sitting beneath a leaky-roofed pavillion trying to keep order among (and teach English to) elementary age kids. Sadly, that's not much career progress for forty-three years. On the other hand, I think I'm in the right place at the right time and living out my destiny in accordance with the Grand Unified Theory as postulated by Einstein. (Oh Lord, I'm turning into a Jewish Asian mystic.....HELP!!!!).
Maybe I'll organize my Korean students into a chorus to sing a few verses of "Tomorrow" from the musical, ANNIE. (You know..."The sun will come out tomorrow. Bet you bottom dollar that, tomorrow, there'll be sun" etc.). With that, I leave you with best wishes and a quote from "Pygmalion" ("My Fair Lady") that Eliza Doolittle made to Henry Higgins during a torrential London thunderstorm:
"If it's gettin' worse, tis a sign it's nearly over.
So cheer up, Captain, and buy a flower off a poor gurl."
You'll have to supply your own Cockney accent.
Til later,
(A very philosophical) Kamper Bill
I hate to be a grouch, but Korea is experiencing "vacuum cleaner" weather right now. (That's right...it sucks!). The predicted annual monsoon season has descended upon this part of creation and it is everything my seventh grade geography book advertised. I'm having mental flashbacks to 1966 when, as a sixteen year-old day camp counselor with the YMCA, I slogged through a few days of heavy rain with a dozen elementary age boys in my charge. The circumstances created a vacuum then (see above) and still do today--only now I'm pushing sixty and sixteen is a long way in the rear view mirror. As I survey this particular consequence of my freely chosen circumstances, I philosophically note that I am, once again, sitting beneath a leaky-roofed pavillion trying to keep order among (and teach English to) elementary age kids. Sadly, that's not much career progress for forty-three years. On the other hand, I think I'm in the right place at the right time and living out my destiny in accordance with the Grand Unified Theory as postulated by Einstein. (Oh Lord, I'm turning into a Jewish Asian mystic.....HELP!!!!).
Maybe I'll organize my Korean students into a chorus to sing a few verses of "Tomorrow" from the musical, ANNIE. (You know..."The sun will come out tomorrow. Bet you bottom dollar that, tomorrow, there'll be sun" etc.). With that, I leave you with best wishes and a quote from "Pygmalion" ("My Fair Lady") that Eliza Doolittle made to Henry Higgins during a torrential London thunderstorm:
"If it's gettin' worse, tis a sign it's nearly over.
So cheer up, Captain, and buy a flower off a poor gurl."
You'll have to supply your own Cockney accent.
Til later,
(A very philosophical) Kamper Bill
Monday, August 10, 2009
Let the Games Begin!
Hi all:
Well, I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!! Did you miss me? Our Hawaiian cruise adventure was really great and ended much too quickly. As previously advertised, I wore out a deck chair, destroyed multiple buffets and had a great time with the family. Although I've now been to Hawaii seven times, I did discover something new, different and definitely spectacular. We had been to the Kiluea volcano (world's most active) on the big island years ago with the girls, but, this time, we got a different view of it-- at night and from offshore. Kiluea is on the southwest coast of the big island. We cruised past it in the dark and the crater was lit up with bright yellow-orange lava flowing down the slopes and into the ocean where it sizzles and steams. It has to be one of the world's greatest sights. On Maui, while Ann and I wore out deck chairs, Kimberly and Diana took an excursion 10,00 feet up Mt Haleakaela (a dormant volcano) to see the sights and view a Pacific sunset from above the clouds. Ann and I had made this same trek on our first trip to Hawaii more than thirty years ago and we took the opportunity to let the girls have fun by themselves while we wore out some deck chairs we found in close proximity to a buffet. (Do you see a pattern emerging here?). All in all, it was a great time and we enjoyed being together.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch in Korea, the summer day camp program is now in full swing. The games I ordered (Candy Land and Chutes & Ladders) had arrived and I put the younger children to work on them as a vehicle for teaching them English color, number and directional words. Pretty clever of me, right? I thought so, too, right up to the point at which the Korean teachers became intrigued with these "wonderful" games they'd never seen and muscled the kids out of the way so they could play! Everything worked out fine, additional game sets have been ordered and everyone thanked me for bringing them these wonderful "new" games. The fifth and sixth graders continue to work diligently with their SCRABBLE games and are visibly unhappy, but respectfully silent when intrigued teachers try to muscle in on their games. The best part is that I only had to break up arguments and mediate disputes over SCRABBLE words twice although, sadly, one of the disputes was between two teachers. (Idle question: What did these people do for entertainment before I arrived?) For tomorrow, I've set up a scavenger hunt for English-named objects (manmade and natural) found around the camp area. Let's see the teachers horn in on that one!
Gotta go...my typing hand is giving out. Love to all. Y'all keep on playing and remember (as I'm trying to teach my very intense students)...IT'S ONLY A GAME!!
See ya,
Kamper Bill
Well, I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!! Did you miss me? Our Hawaiian cruise adventure was really great and ended much too quickly. As previously advertised, I wore out a deck chair, destroyed multiple buffets and had a great time with the family. Although I've now been to Hawaii seven times, I did discover something new, different and definitely spectacular. We had been to the Kiluea volcano (world's most active) on the big island years ago with the girls, but, this time, we got a different view of it-- at night and from offshore. Kiluea is on the southwest coast of the big island. We cruised past it in the dark and the crater was lit up with bright yellow-orange lava flowing down the slopes and into the ocean where it sizzles and steams. It has to be one of the world's greatest sights. On Maui, while Ann and I wore out deck chairs, Kimberly and Diana took an excursion 10,00 feet up Mt Haleakaela (a dormant volcano) to see the sights and view a Pacific sunset from above the clouds. Ann and I had made this same trek on our first trip to Hawaii more than thirty years ago and we took the opportunity to let the girls have fun by themselves while we wore out some deck chairs we found in close proximity to a buffet. (Do you see a pattern emerging here?). All in all, it was a great time and we enjoyed being together.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch in Korea, the summer day camp program is now in full swing. The games I ordered (Candy Land and Chutes & Ladders) had arrived and I put the younger children to work on them as a vehicle for teaching them English color, number and directional words. Pretty clever of me, right? I thought so, too, right up to the point at which the Korean teachers became intrigued with these "wonderful" games they'd never seen and muscled the kids out of the way so they could play! Everything worked out fine, additional game sets have been ordered and everyone thanked me for bringing them these wonderful "new" games. The fifth and sixth graders continue to work diligently with their SCRABBLE games and are visibly unhappy, but respectfully silent when intrigued teachers try to muscle in on their games. The best part is that I only had to break up arguments and mediate disputes over SCRABBLE words twice although, sadly, one of the disputes was between two teachers. (Idle question: What did these people do for entertainment before I arrived?) For tomorrow, I've set up a scavenger hunt for English-named objects (manmade and natural) found around the camp area. Let's see the teachers horn in on that one!
Gotta go...my typing hand is giving out. Love to all. Y'all keep on playing and remember (as I'm trying to teach my very intense students)...IT'S ONLY A GAME!!
See ya,
Kamper Bill
Thursday, July 23, 2009
It's Halftime!
Hi all!
The past two weeks have been very busy as school has been lurching toward summer vacation. Korean schools have a six week summer break and a six week winter break which is a bit different from the U.S. I'm off to Hawaii to meet up with the family and cruise the islands. There's a deck chair with my name on it and multiple buffets to be met and conquered. During the cruise, Ann and I will celebrate our 35th anniversary on August 3rd and it will be nice to have Kimberly and Diana with us.
When I return to Korea next month, I'll spend the remainder of summer break teaching at English Language Day Camp in Uijombu ("wee-jom-bu") just a short drive from where I'm living in Yangju. I'll catch up on some of my recent crazy adventures when I return. Right now, I'm off to Inchon Airport and a nine hour flight to Honolulu.
Keep having a great summer!
Bill
The past two weeks have been very busy as school has been lurching toward summer vacation. Korean schools have a six week summer break and a six week winter break which is a bit different from the U.S. I'm off to Hawaii to meet up with the family and cruise the islands. There's a deck chair with my name on it and multiple buffets to be met and conquered. During the cruise, Ann and I will celebrate our 35th anniversary on August 3rd and it will be nice to have Kimberly and Diana with us.
When I return to Korea next month, I'll spend the remainder of summer break teaching at English Language Day Camp in Uijombu ("wee-jom-bu") just a short drive from where I'm living in Yangju. I'll catch up on some of my recent crazy adventures when I return. Right now, I'm off to Inchon Airport and a nine hour flight to Honolulu.
Keep having a great summer!
Bill
Monday, July 6, 2009
A Scrap Over Scrabble
July 7, 2009
After an extended absence due to some internet-related ptoblems, I am back. Too much to relate in one sitting, so I'll tell my most recent bit of funny business with the students. The kids really love any kind of board or card game and I decided to introduce them to SCRABBLE as a vocabulary building tool. I ordered one game set as an experiment and it was so popular that I've since ordered six more. My biggest problem is kids arguing over who gets to play and who is the best player. With this much as background, here is my story:
I had sixteen fifth and sixth graders playing on four boards last Friday--two, two-man teams playing four on a board. I had them play as pairs so they could help each other. A SCRABBLE set has a total of 100 letter and blank wild card tiles including one Q and one Z. I am the final arbiter of word acceptability and scoring. An easy job, you say, for a former English major? Not with this bunch of young pirates and con artists! I was called to a table to adjudicate a word and noticed the board also had two words spelled with "Z" (Zoo and Zero) which would be fine if the words had been formed sharing the same "Z". They were, however, placed on different areas of the board using TWO "Z" tiles. (For those who remember a strange character from the TV show "Mork and Mindy", I say to you in the words of Exidor himself, " Blasphemey!") I stopped play and found a table missing its "Z". (Remember, "Z" is a ten point letter--not a lousy one-point "S". ) I won't go into the object lesson we had about cheating and my Korean co-teacher gave the entire room a tongue-lashing about disgrace and dishonor. A little heavy-handed I thought, but this is Asia and when one member of your group screws up, EVERYONE suffers. It's also Asia, because the theme of the lecture was (I sensed) LESS ABOUT THE SHAME OF CHEATING AND MORE ABOUT THE STUPIDITY OF GETTING CAUGHT!
Gotta love 'em! Everything worked out fine (I think). More another time.
Bill
(Your Asian morals enforcer)
After an extended absence due to some internet-related ptoblems, I am back. Too much to relate in one sitting, so I'll tell my most recent bit of funny business with the students. The kids really love any kind of board or card game and I decided to introduce them to SCRABBLE as a vocabulary building tool. I ordered one game set as an experiment and it was so popular that I've since ordered six more. My biggest problem is kids arguing over who gets to play and who is the best player. With this much as background, here is my story:
I had sixteen fifth and sixth graders playing on four boards last Friday--two, two-man teams playing four on a board. I had them play as pairs so they could help each other. A SCRABBLE set has a total of 100 letter and blank wild card tiles including one Q and one Z. I am the final arbiter of word acceptability and scoring. An easy job, you say, for a former English major? Not with this bunch of young pirates and con artists! I was called to a table to adjudicate a word and noticed the board also had two words spelled with "Z" (Zoo and Zero) which would be fine if the words had been formed sharing the same "Z". They were, however, placed on different areas of the board using TWO "Z" tiles. (For those who remember a strange character from the TV show "Mork and Mindy", I say to you in the words of Exidor himself, " Blasphemey!") I stopped play and found a table missing its "Z". (Remember, "Z" is a ten point letter--not a lousy one-point "S". ) I won't go into the object lesson we had about cheating and my Korean co-teacher gave the entire room a tongue-lashing about disgrace and dishonor. A little heavy-handed I thought, but this is Asia and when one member of your group screws up, EVERYONE suffers. It's also Asia, because the theme of the lecture was (I sensed) LESS ABOUT THE SHAME OF CHEATING AND MORE ABOUT THE STUPIDITY OF GETTING CAUGHT!
Gotta love 'em! Everything worked out fine (I think). More another time.
Bill
(Your Asian morals enforcer)
Monday, June 8, 2009
The Karaoke Kaper
Another notable difference between Korean and American schools is the level of group socializing that goes on with the teachers. Everything in Korea revolves around the concept of family and the faculty of a school is one of the many "families" of which you can be a member in Korean society. This is true throughout the workplace--not just schools. Kia or Hyundai employees think of their immediate and extended work groups as a kind of family. Life events (births, marriages, deaths, etc.) are celebrated or mourned together as a group. Only in this way can the chi (prounounced like "key") or life force/essence of the indvidual or group be maintained in proper harmony and balance. This is background for my explanation as to how I got invited (railroaded would be a better description) to do my first ever gig as a karaoke singer. (I'll pause and wait for the laughter to subside)
Following a semi-monthly teachers' group dinner out, I was told we were going to a karaoke parlor at which a group can rent a room with a karaoke machine and a private cash bar. I had read about this beloved Asian pastime in a guide book and knew two things: first, everybody goes (very bad manners to refuse to support the group will); second, everybody sings at least one solo. The machine can be set to do any song in a number of different languages. (Sadly, English is on the list). I was offered a book with the playlist and asked to pick my song. They even said someone would do a duet with me if I wanted help. I decided to "save face" (Asians are big on that) and go solo so as to receive maximum respect no matter how badly my chi was about to suffer. Long story short, I butchered my way through "I'm a Believer" by The Monkees and with that synthesizer microphone even if you stink you sound semi-respectable. At the end, they have an applause meter and the crowd claps for you to get a rating. I got what I thought was a respectable 84, but the principal of the school wasn't satisfied and he led a second round of applause and cheering that raised my score to a 96. So, I went to bed that night with my personal dignity in shreds by my chi intact and my life force overflowing.
Please pray for me because I'll probably have to do this again. What have you been doing for fun lately? Until later.......
Bill
(The Karaoke Kid)
Following a semi-monthly teachers' group dinner out, I was told we were going to a karaoke parlor at which a group can rent a room with a karaoke machine and a private cash bar. I had read about this beloved Asian pastime in a guide book and knew two things: first, everybody goes (very bad manners to refuse to support the group will); second, everybody sings at least one solo. The machine can be set to do any song in a number of different languages. (Sadly, English is on the list). I was offered a book with the playlist and asked to pick my song. They even said someone would do a duet with me if I wanted help. I decided to "save face" (Asians are big on that) and go solo so as to receive maximum respect no matter how badly my chi was about to suffer. Long story short, I butchered my way through "I'm a Believer" by The Monkees and with that synthesizer microphone even if you stink you sound semi-respectable. At the end, they have an applause meter and the crowd claps for you to get a rating. I got what I thought was a respectable 84, but the principal of the school wasn't satisfied and he led a second round of applause and cheering that raised my score to a 96. So, I went to bed that night with my personal dignity in shreds by my chi intact and my life force overflowing.
Please pray for me because I'll probably have to do this again. What have you been doing for fun lately? Until later.......
Bill
(The Karaoke Kid)
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Ooops!! Sorry...my bad
Well, I really messed up with my first graders today. Call it a cross-cultural misunderstanding. Korean society from top to bottom is fiercely competitive especially within peer group. By the time they're first graders, Koreans have learned the drill pretty well. Koreans are very kind to the very young, the elderly and the sick. However, they have very little liking or tolerance for those who are a little slower or need extra help largely because they pull down the entire group (be it team, society or whatever) and that is unacceptable. Even in the first grade there is an undeniable pecking order in which everyone recognizes the elite students and each kid understands his relative position in the hierarchy. The teachers recognize this system because they grew up with it and, for them, it's the natural order working itself out. Slower kids do get extra help, but "no child left behind" and the concept of upward mobility simply don't register in this culture. In the first place, no child will be left behind because each will be evaluated, slotted and placed at his proper level. They will perform at that level and be directed from there to appropriate skill training and teaching so they fit well into the "natural" scheme of society. Adults do their best to achieve within the "zone" to which they have been assigned for life and are not encouraged to think in upwardly mobile terms because the "national will" requires that each person act the role for which fate intended him.
Into the middle of this mystic contradiction steps the boob teacher from America. Honest--all I was trying to do was help a kid who was struggling a bit. How did I manage to lose some credibility with a roomful of six and seven year old moppets? If only in a small way, I violated part of the national social contract by moving one of the pieces on the great Korean chessboard of life to a wrong position. I thought the boy (who was struggling with English) would benefit from standing next to me so I could coach him a bit while having the class listen and repeat with me.
Being asked to stand at the front of the class is a position of honor reserved for the elite students and only on infrequent occasions lest they become too cocky (as was patiently explained to me later). The entire roomful of first graders immediately shut down on me because I had elevated a peer who was obviously NOT an elite student (and, ipso facto, probably never would be) to an honored position above the obviously better students. AND THIS IS THE FREAKIN' FIRST GRADE!! Everything ultimately worked out OK and the regular classroom teacher was kind in helping me understand that, like Dorothy and Toto, I wasn't in Kansas any more. It makes me wonder how a Korean teacher would do in the U.S. where every child must be a "winner", there are no allowed losers, everybody feels good (whatever that means) and delicate little psyches are constantly massaged into mass mediocrity. (End of didactic pontification).
How's your psyche doing today? A good day to all from The Land of the Morning Mist.
Til later, The Kaper KId
Into the middle of this mystic contradiction steps the boob teacher from America. Honest--all I was trying to do was help a kid who was struggling a bit. How did I manage to lose some credibility with a roomful of six and seven year old moppets? If only in a small way, I violated part of the national social contract by moving one of the pieces on the great Korean chessboard of life to a wrong position. I thought the boy (who was struggling with English) would benefit from standing next to me so I could coach him a bit while having the class listen and repeat with me.
Being asked to stand at the front of the class is a position of honor reserved for the elite students and only on infrequent occasions lest they become too cocky (as was patiently explained to me later). The entire roomful of first graders immediately shut down on me because I had elevated a peer who was obviously NOT an elite student (and, ipso facto, probably never would be) to an honored position above the obviously better students. AND THIS IS THE FREAKIN' FIRST GRADE!! Everything ultimately worked out OK and the regular classroom teacher was kind in helping me understand that, like Dorothy and Toto, I wasn't in Kansas any more. It makes me wonder how a Korean teacher would do in the U.S. where every child must be a "winner", there are no allowed losers, everybody feels good (whatever that means) and delicate little psyches are constantly massaged into mass mediocrity. (End of didactic pontification).
How's your psyche doing today? A good day to all from The Land of the Morning Mist.
Til later, The Kaper KId
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